You are doing a lot of kicking these days and its started pretty early today...i can't wait to have you out and take a look at you. You are the only anticipation in this otherwise banal place....sometimes i wonder what is with all this moving business we do, cities, borders, countries, different places and experiences juxtaposed in the one little life we have. I was happy growing up in one place for the first 15 yrs of my life and did pretty well despite that, yes? I love to travel and discover new places and its people but to move, bag and barrel and set up a new home in a foreign land is another thing entirely.
This is a country i visited when i was much younger but did not feel particularly dislocated like i do now. Perhaps it was the curiosity then. There is everything here and yet nothing. There is a GPS that gives you direction if you are lost since there is no passerby you can simply stop and ask. No maid comes in to do the dishes because there is a dishwasher. No electrician to fix a fan as there is a user manual that accompanies the partly assembled fan that you simply ordered over the internet, so you didn't even have to visit a store to buy. The only human intervention was the delivery man. Sometimes i step out to take a walk to explore the perfectly manicured lawns of the community and find i am the only one doing so. An occasional runner may pass you by but with a perfect, almost zombie like focus which you are too scared to disturb with a customary greeting.
Your father doesn't really have to go to office everyday and i don't have to fret about his timings and traffic hassles though. So there's more time to be spent with him. And there are no annoying salesmen or fruit vendors ringing the bell to disturb you at ungodly hours here. The air seems cleaner although i assume greater unseen pollution happens in this part of the world considering the number of gadgets they use. And there is a great big library nearby we just discovered where i can spend insane hours reading all the bestsellers and classics. It makes me unreasonably ecstatic, the discovery of this library.
Nevertheless, i miss everything that is India which rightfully should have been your birthplace as it has been for your father and I. I never realized i would think so much about my country as i do now. There is something to be said about the land, teeming with its millions, which makes living so much more worthwhile. The weather is warm and its people, even warmer.
Anyway, this crisscrossing that you've begun even before being born might just trigger the wanderlust in you i guess. Travel all you want my child. I would love to know that travel is one of your great loves, just like me. Going to new places and meeting new people is one of the most enriching experiences one can have but try and find a home in a place where your heart is. A sense of stability is important in these highly volatile times. For instance, i feel at home in Hyderabad, where i own a home, a family and good circle of well meaning friends. This place feeds my soul.
I hope i can give you a childhood just like mine. Open spaces, plenty of play, lots of friends and a sibling too. Unlike so many kids i see today, i wouldn't want you needling gadgets and staring at LED screens too long. Climb the trees , fiddle with the clay, go swimming, read books, sing songs and chatter all you can, these are things that make for great memories once you are all grown up.
I have decided to write you these letters until you arrive. It seems to be the best thing to do while i wait in anticipation of the coming months.
Love you already,
Ma.
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